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Introduction
First of all, a little background. My husband and I were married in June of 2006. He is 7 years older than I. At the time we were married we were not concerned with having children for two years. We had been together 4 years and had been so busy with work we wanted to just have fun for a while. We planned to travel and do things we like for example; bike, rock climb, scuba ect. In December of that year I went to my OB due to mid-cycle spotting and pain. The doc did a physical check up and found nothing. He had suggested that I might have forgot or mistaken a pill or two and this had messed with my cycle. (I knew better after 10 years I was and expert) Another suggestion was ovarian cysts. To play it safe he ordered and ultrasound.
Tests, Procedures, Medical consultations
At the ultrasound appointment the tech said something to the effect that I have what is called a bicuspid uterus and that this is what might cause be causing the bleeding and pain. I was terrified. I had no clue what was wrong with me and furthermore didn’t hear from my doc for another week. Finally he called me on a Saturday to add the all the panic. He asked that my husband and I come in so that he can discuss my situation. I was told that my uterus had not developed properly in the womb and that there was nothing that I had done to make it this way. I said ok so what does this mean for me. Well this is not an uncommon condition about .01% of women have this condition and most don’t find out until after they have had their first child. He also said that the severity of the condition can make things more complicated however. And of course my condition was a significant case. I asked if I was going to be able to have children he said yes. He then proceeded to say that it might be a bit harder than others to conceive because of the difference in shape and texture of the uteri but the real concern in for pre-term labor. Some women with this condition will experience preterm labor due to the small size of the uterus. Then he went on to state that most women with this condition will not deliver lly because the child will most likely be in the breech position. What a lot of info to digest right? Well After leaving the doctor and finding out that my uterus was split in two and had horns I felt like my balloon had not just been deflated but popped. After a few days of feel sorry for myself, I started doing research. I found myself to be my best resource for answers. After this my husband and I decided to end the 10 year stent of birth control and see what would happen. We were going to wait a year to try to have children but hey that was until we found out it might be harder than we expected.
Trying-to-Conceive (TTC) experience
I am now 12 months to the week off of birth control. Two false positives are all I have gotten. After advise from a my OB I am also taking prenatal vitamins and seeing a dietitian. (I put on almost 50lbs from stress in 6 months) I am charting and using opk and am praying for my miracle. I know it can happen. The relationship I have with my husband has changed quite a bit. After all we were not in a hurry to have children. And than it became all I could think about (an obsession). I think he felt helpless. He saw my health decline and my stress level rise and he couldn't do anything to fix it. He once said that every man wants to give their wife what she needs and deserves and he feels like he can’t do that. He didn't know where to begin. This hurt me so much and I knew I was the only one who can change it. I am doing great now eating right and going to the gym I am much happier these days. (I just needed a wake up call) I have learned to take control and be pro-active not re-active. My husband seems much happier also. We are closer than ever. Now we are working toward a common goal. Don't get me wrong, I still get a bit jealous when I see a pregnant . And get very sad when I get AF for the 12th time. I still get upset when people tell me to just relax and it will happen. If it was only that easy.
Charting Experience
One thing that I can say about this process is that I feel like and expert in the female anatomy. I have gained so much knowledge that I don’t know what to do with it. LOL s at my work always come to me for female related questions. Maybe I should try a career change it not too late. LOL I have just started charting with Fertility Friend and it is good to see the visual representations of my cycle it helps a lot to be able to see the progression.
The Internet
The internet has been a big support for me. I go to it when I need answers and I have found a wonderful group of women that are very supportive and going through the daily TTC rituals that I am. It’s great to hear stories and share experiences. I have also gotten over my jealously a bit because I love to hear of a fellow TTCer gets her BFP. I do however still get a bit upset when I hear of 13-16yr old s getting pg by . CAN’T I GET PG BY ! Come on where’s the love.
Other Thoughts?
I still hold out hope that one of these days God will grant me my healthy baby and even if it’s only one I will be happy.
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