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Introduction
My husband and I decided to start TTC in April 2004. I was 37 and he was 52. After six months we consulted an infertility clinic and discovered my husband's sperm count was very low due to his type II diabetes. We also learned that IVF with ICSI was going to be our only chance. Other than the low sperm count there was no other medical reason we were not conceiving. So we began the long and difficult process of IVF. Our first IVF was in March of 2005 and was not successful. Due to the expenses involved we feared we would not be able to try again, but through research I found a grant that was available through NYS DOH and we were able to try again. IVF number two exactly was one year later and also failed. After the second IVF our doctor told us that we were also dealing with poor embie quality and that he could try again with a couple added procedures, but after that he would question whether it would work at all. After months of talking, crying, budgeting and arguing, we decided not to try IVF again and look into adoption. That was around June of 2006. We then stated the process of trying to figure out how to go about adopting. Since then we have picked an agency and are planning to start the process of filling out the huge application for domestic adoption. At the moment our goal is to have the application filled in by the middle of January 2007.
Tests, Procedures, Medical consultations
I started with the typical TTC methods...charting temps, using the microscope fern test, and OPKs. Because of my age, it was recommended that we seek out medical assistance after 6 months without conceiving. Deciding to seek medical assistance was not a difficult choice, but the process was not what we were expecting. There are tons of tests and it is quite stressful. The clinic we chose was wonderful and helped us through every step and was always available for us. That is why we chose them for our second try with IVF.
Trying-to-Conceive (TTC) experience
TTC has been a difficult journey for us personally. It was a strain on our relationship, but in the end made us stronger. I definitely felt that I was doing all the work and my husband was just there for the ride...so to speak. Dealing with infertility continues to be difficult. Every month as my cycle comes to an end, I wonder if this could be the month. I know it is not possible, but I feel there is always hope. Many people the TTC don't ever think that it might be difficult. I am still amazed at the things people say without thinking. Asking if we have tried everything or giving suggestions. Some people even say, well maybe it's better. I am at an age where people assume I have kids and can't understand it when they find out I don't. There are days I see families and wonder why that can't be me. Then there are times when I hear of children being miss-treated and it makes me so angry that those people can have children and I can't. It's is an ongoing struggle...some days are good and others not so good.
Charting Experience
Charting has helped me understand my body better. I have stopped temping and other methods to predict ovulation, but I now know when it happens. Even though we are dealing with infertility, I continue to chart some info. I feel as a heath record it is important.
The Internet
I have belonged to a FF group since about the beginning of 2005. We are a group of about 16 women that were going through IVF (mostly for the first time) at the same time. We are still going strong and I consider these women to be some of my best friends. All but two of us have conceived and we have a "junior" membership of 22 babies! Some of us have meet in person, some of us talk on the phone, but mainly it is daily communitation on the internet to check on how everyone is doing. Without these women I don't think I would have been able to make it through some of the things I have been through. Not just the IVF experiances but life!
Other Thoughts?
I guess the only other thing I would suggest to other women TTC is be an advocate for yourself. Never be afraid to ask questions or question what is being told to you by anyone. Also seek out support from where ever you feel comfortable...the internet, church, local groups, friends, and family. If it turns out that you are having a difficult time TTC, it makes it much easier. Good luck and sending baby dust your way!
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