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Introduction
Well I'm 36 now and DH is 37, we've been actively ttc for over five years now. But before that we were bding in hope but without monitoring timing etc. We tried for almost two years on our own, we were advised to do this before contacting our doctor.

Then I went for a routine smear test and they thought I had fibroids, which scared me and was a kickstart to make us realise the clock was ticking and we needed to ttc seriously.

After two years we approached our doctor who sent me for some initial blood tests which were all normal, so the doctor refered me to the fertility clinic but gave me three months of clomid for the wait!

Tests, Procedures, Medical consultations
We got our appointment through after a 8 month wait with the fertility clinic. At the first appointment the nurse just took our history and arranged for more tests for the both of us. I had a HSG, some internal scans and more blood tests, DH did the SA test. All of our test results were clear, and the nurse said it would be put down to "unexplained infertility"

In Jan of the following year we started on 3 months of clomid with scans this time, and I reacted badly to the clomid and had palpatations, the nurse said it was due to stress and I should refrain from BDing, which we didn't and 14 days later I got my BFP, which was a real high followed by an unbelievable low when I had a mc two and a half weeks later, and this seemed to set a pattern for me, we had two more attempts on clomic followed by one mc. We were referred back to the cons, who said there was nothing wrong with us and we should just keep trying!

I booked another HSG privately as I felt that might help and may clear away anything that had been left behind. As I was only offered a D

Trying-to-Conceive (TTC) experience
TTC has been hard, it started to drive DH and me apart for a while, but in the long term it has brought us closer together. As long as I have him, then I'm lucky no matter what else happens.

TTC has also bought me two very good friends who I have met through support groups, and both of them are still struggling with TTC as well, I have also made many other friends that I have met who have gone on to have children, and although I am pleased for them, TTC was the thing we had in common, and once they had their children, they moved on and thats sad.

TTC is harder than I could have ever expected, it takes over every single part of your life, you live your life in 28 day cycles, you forever know what your body is doing, your heart plummets if your temp is low in the morning, or you're excited all day if your temp was high.

I never thought I would discuss ewcm with so many people, or lose all my inhibibitions when walking into a clinic, taking my clothes of from the waist down became second nature!

You're scared to plan a holiday or a day out in case its O time, and you might miss it, when you're not well you don't want to take a pill just in case.

It has changed me as a person, I'm less confident now than I ever used to be, and I was never a particuarly confident person. It scares me as well, as it makes the thought of growing old and being alone a real possibility.

Charting Experience
Charting has played a big part in my ttc journey, I feel like I have learned an awful lot and have considered re-training as a nurse specialising in fertility, as I feel coming from that side of things I could empathise with people more.

FF has been brilliant, its the first place I look every morning when I come into work!

The Internet
The internet has been both useful and scary, at times it has scared me, as sometimes too much information is a bad thing?

Other Thoughts?
This is the difficult bit, I would say to anyone never to give up hope, no matter what you go through, and I would also say be honest with people, trying to keep ttc a secret particuarly when you're going treatment makes it harder than it has to be, finding an excuse not to be somewhere gets complicated. I told lots of people, but I couldn't tell my parents, I felt like I was letting them down, by not making them grandparents, even now, I can't discuss it with them, even though they know we are going down the adoption route!

And thats not been easy either, we started the process in Feb 2006, and eight months on we are still waiting for our initial assessment. As a good friend of mine said, special babies take a little longer in the making, and I guess our baby / child will just be extra special.

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